Get this, from the Portland, Ore., News-Times:

Cornelius real estate broker accused of home burglaries

Michael Troy Messmer, 41, is accused of burglarizing homes in Hillsboro and Cornelius that were listed for sale by other real estate agents. Messmer allegedly used a keycard to open lockboxes at the two homes which contained house keys.

OK, that’s not good. The owner walked in on the guy and his apparent girlfriend drinking martinis. (Luckily that’s all they were doing.) After they left, the homeowner discovered things missing and called police.

But wait. There’s more.

Messmer was caught because police had been investigating a burglary of another home and noticed his name on the entry log for the lockbox.

But wait. There’s more.

At that home, items worth $250 were reported stolen, including an expensive bottle of tequila, a nose trimmer and an air freshener.

A nose trimmer? What kind of person steals a nose trimmer?

“That was an odd list of items,” said [Police] Commander Ed Jensen.

And the kicker?

“At first Messmer wasn’t very cooperative, but when our officer said that he was going to contact his girlfriend he decided to cooperate because the girl that was with him wasn’t the girl that was in the house in Hillsboro,” Jensen said.

Let’s be careful out there.