In a piece titled, “When Venus shops for a house,” MSN Real Estate purportedly explains just what women want in a home — at least according to a bunch of experts and surveys.

The MSN list is in the format of an annoying slide show, so here are the basic. Ladies and gentlemen, what women want:

11. A smart layout (“Women are critical of home plans that don’t allow life to flow smoothly”)

10. A great kitchen

9. A two-car garage

8. Separate master-bath shower and tub (“Women care deeply about the master bathroom”)

7. Low maintenance

6. A dedicated laundry room

5. A great place for socializing (“A party space is nice, but an even bigger priority, … is a comfortable environment for sitting around and sharing”)

Yep, more important than a laundry room 4. Security

3. Location (“[D]oesn’t everyone care about location? Sure. But for women it’s an even higher priority”)

2. Jetted bathtubs (yep, beating out security and a great kitchen — who knew?)

And the number one thing women want in a home?

1. Big closets