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Songs for an Economic Slump: A contest, sort of
I have writer’s block. The deadline for my column in VAR’s Commonwealth Magazine passed earlier this week, and I’ve yet to type a word of anything coherent (no wry comments, please).
So here’s the deal: YOU can help me write the column. Don’t worry, it’s not difficult. All it requires is a sense of humor and the recollection of a song or two.
ANNOUNCING: Scott’s “Songs for an Economic Slump” Contest….
Here’s the premise: In the great soundtrack of life, even an economic slump needs its own theme song.
Below are several categories. Your job is to suggest a song title or snippet of lyrics – from actual, reasonably mainstream music – that in your opinion summarizes the particular category. Just leave your suggestion in the comments on this post. I’ll take the best suggestions…determined solely by me and my own subjective and somewhat warped sense of humor…and publish them in my June Commonwealth column. (And no, this contest is NOT just limited to Virginia REALTORS®.)
So be creative. Be clever. Just be helpful. I really do need to finish this @#!% column. Deadline for submissions is Monday at 5 p.m. EDT, and you can make recommendations in any or all categories.
1. SONGS YEARNING FOR THE HOUSING MARKETS OF 2004-2006
2. SONGS FOR SUBPRIME LENDERS
3. SONGS FOR ECONOMISTS WHO DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING
4. SAD SONGS FOR SHORT-SELLERS WHO THOUGHT THEIR NO-MONEY-DOWN A.R.M. WAS A SWEET DEAL
5. SONGS FOR UNREALISTIC SELLERS AND THE REALTORS® WHO OVERPRICE THEM
6. SONGS OF THOSE ADVOCATING A FEDERAL BAILOUT
7. SONGS DESCRIBING THE WHOLE, CURSED ECONOMIC MESS
Now go to it. I look forward to hearing your entries!
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How about …..Yesterday by the Beatles: Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away Now it looks as though they’re here to stay Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Here’s a take on an old bluegrass song written by Little Jimmy Dickens that fits category 5, overpriced listings and the Realtors who overprice them:
When I was a new seller around the table at home
I remember fairly well when buyers and agents would come
I would have to sit right still ’till my agent called real late
My agent always said to me just take a ‘tater and wait
Now ‘taters never did taste real good with chicken on the plate
But I had to eat ‘em just the same
That is why I look so bad and have these puny ways
Those buyers always say to me take an old cold ‘tater and wait.
And when those buyers they would come
To have a look around
I would have to take a ride until my price they found
My agent’s call would always come and that would seal my fate
My agent always said to me just take a ‘tater and wait.
Now ‘taters never did taste real good with chicken on the plate
But I had to eat ‘em just the same
That is why I look so bad and have these puny ways
Those buyers always say to me take an old cold ‘tater and wait.
Well I thought that I would starve to death
Before my house got sold
All that chicken my neighbors would eat
While my days on market got old
I finally got wise and called my agent before it got too late
You overpriced me, move along
And take an old cold ‘tater and wait.
Now taters never did taste real good with chicken on the plate
But I had to eat ‘em just the same
That is why I look so bad and have these puny ways
Those buyers always say to me take an old cold ‘tater and wait.
Number 2, songs for subprime lenders, sung to the tune of Maroon 5’s “This Love”
I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in my eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Those loans are gone and not to come again
Never to return again
But always in my heart
Those loans have taken their toll on me
They’ve gone goodbye and my account is looking pretty poor
And my job is changing in front of me
I have no choice, cause sub-prime loans are gone forevermore.
I would say that if everything during 2004 - 2006 was done correctly “Yesterday” would be the perfect song. I feel those days were closer to Badfinger’s song, “Come and Get It.” The $1,000,000 question is, who is the fool?
If you want it, here it is come and get it
Mmmm, make your mind up fast
If you want it, anytime I can give it
But you better hurry cause it may not last
Did I hear you say that there must be a catch
Will you walk away from a fool and his money
If you want it, here it is come and get it
But you better hurry cause it’s going fast
Fun idea! Life and art always come together.
1. SONGS YEARNING FOR THE HOUSING MARKETS OF 2004-2006
Glory Days by Bruce Springstein
2. SONGS FOR SUBPRIME LENDERS
3. SONGS FOR ECONOMISTS WHO DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING
Anything by Ray Charles
4. SAD SONGS FOR SHORT-SELLERS WHO THOUGHT THEIR NO-MONEY-DOWN A.R.M. WAS A SWEET DEAL
Our House - by Crosby, Stills, and Nash
5. SONGS FOR UNREALISTIC SELLERS AND THE REALTORS® WHO OVERPRICE THEM
(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction by the Stones
6. SONGS OF THOSE ADVOCATING A FEDERAL BAILOUT
Baby I Need You - Bread (had to go way back for this classic)
7. SONGS DESCRIBING THE WHOLE, CURSED ECONOMIC MESS
Helter Skelter - The Beatles
SONGS DESCRIBING THE WHOLE, CURSED ECONOMIC MESS from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas:
Fellow Texans, I am proudly standing here to humbly see.
I assure you, and I mean it- Now, who says I don’t speak out as plain as day?
And, fellow Texans, I’m for progress and the flag- long may it fly.
I’m a poor boy, come to greatness. So, it follows that I cannot tell a lie.
Ooh I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don’t-
I’ve come and gone and, ooh I love to sweep around the wide step,
cut a little swathe and lead the people on.
Now my good friends, it behooves me to be solemn and declare,
I’m for goodness and for profit and for living clean and saying daily prayer.
And now, my good friends, you can sleep nights, I’ll continue to stand tall.
You can trust me, for I promise, I shall keep a watchful eye upon ya’ll…
Ooh I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don’t-
I’ve come and gone and, ooh I love to sweep around the wide step,
cut a little swathe and lead the people on.
1. SONGS YEARNING FOR THE HOUSING MARKETS OF 2004-2006
I Guess I Had Your Leavin’ Coming
by Vern Gosdin
or
Dance Hall Days, Wang Chung
2. SONGS FOR SUBPRIME LENDERS
How Come Your Dog Don’t Bite Nobody But Me?
by Mel Tillis
3. SONGS FOR ECONOMISTS WHO DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING
High Cost of Low Living
by John Steele & James Sloane
or
Dare to be Stupid, “Weird Al” Yankovic
4. SAD SONGS FOR SHORT-SELLERS WHO THOUGHT THEIR NO-MONEY-DOWN A.R.M. WAS A SWEET DEAL
It Ain’t Easy Being Easy
by Roseanne Cash
5. SONGS FOR UNREALISTIC SELLERS AND THE REALTORS® WHO OVERPRICE THEM
Here’s A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
by Travis Tritt
6. SONGS OF THOSE ADVOCATING A FEDERAL BAILOUT
If You Got the Money, Honey, I Got the Time
by Hank Williams
7. SONGS DESCRIBING THE WHOLE, CURSED ECONOMIC MESS
There’s A Tear In My Beer
by Hank Williams
or
Waitin’ In Your Welfare Line
by Buck Owens
or
Ain’t No Sunshine - Bill Withers
How about a song for foreclosures (and the people who walk away from them)?
Burning Down the House, Talking Heads
Or a song for people who just want to ignore it all (and hope it goes away)?
Don’t Worry Be Happy, Bobby McFerrin
This is just too much fun for a Friday afternoon…
What’s that song that Shirley Temple Sang about Being Optomistic and Smiling…?
Be optimistic!
Don’t you be a grumpy
When the road gets bumpy
Just smile
(Smile and be happy!)
Your troubles can’t be
As bad as all that
When you’re sad as all that
No one loves you
Be optimistic!
Don’t you be a mourner
Brighten up that corner
And smile
Don’t wear a long face
It’s never in style
Be optimistic
And smile